Friday, September 19, 2008
Oooo I feel so evil.
First things first.
I FOUND by rabbit bag!!!
Now. This morning, for the first time in maybe like a fortnight, i actually had a nice good proper breakfast.
Bacon, french toast, tomatoes, eggs.
Ok in reality it was more like almost burnt pieces of pork lard with the barest traces of flesh, eggs suspended in its own cooking fluids, and amazingly passable french toast. And apple juice.
So there i was, in my pj's eating breakfast. When this person decides to plunk his plate down in front of me. I presume it was to eat breakfast.
Now like any self-respecting student who spent the entire night studying, I was feeling rather zombie-ish but nevertheless still had the social adequacy to strike up a conversation.
And then i realised.
You know how it absolutely gets on your nerves when a person just stares at your food? Well, he was doing just that. I mean like, c'mon stare all you want, I don't give a damn, but at least have the courtesy to say something. And I don't even know you that well. His look was like all high and mighty, and i could swear he was actually looking disgusted.
His internal monologue: "Hah! Jared! Thats the most disgusting piece of sorry excuse for breakfast I've ever seen! If the taste doesn't kill you, the fat will! ooo I can just hear your arteries clogging. And let me tell you, it sounds like my sink....."
...and you get my drift.
Yes, i know
And i don't mind some handsome ape coming and telling me that my breakfast is not healthy, but please, you look like you're a star from Big Bang Theory. Glasses, nerd hair, omgoodness the hair! Its like living proof that ET's are among us. Because they must have cut it. Seriously it looks like this:
I was going to ask why me food looked so damn interesting but was afraid i'd burst out laughing.
Hah! take that!
Zombie Jared 1
Alien head 0
I FOUND by rabbit bag!!!
Now. This morning, for the first time in maybe like a fortnight, i actually had a nice good proper breakfast.
Bacon, french toast, tomatoes, eggs.
Ok in reality it was more like almost burnt pieces of pork lard with the barest traces of flesh, eggs suspended in its own cooking fluids, and amazingly passable french toast. And apple juice.
So there i was, in my pj's eating breakfast. When this person decides to plunk his plate down in front of me. I presume it was to eat breakfast.
Now like any self-respecting student who spent the entire night studying, I was feeling rather zombie-ish but nevertheless still had the social adequacy to strike up a conversation.
And then i realised.
You know how it absolutely gets on your nerves when a person just stares at your food? Well, he was doing just that. I mean like, c'mon stare all you want, I don't give a damn, but at least have the courtesy to say something. And I don't even know you that well. His look was like all high and mighty, and i could swear he was actually looking disgusted.
His internal monologue: "Hah! Jared! Thats the most disgusting piece of sorry excuse for breakfast I've ever seen! If the taste doesn't kill you, the fat will! ooo I can just hear your arteries clogging. And let me tell you, it sounds like my sink....."
...and you get my drift.
Yes, i know
And i don't mind some handsome ape coming and telling me that my breakfast is not healthy, but please, you look like you're a star from Big Bang Theory. Glasses, nerd hair, omgoodness the hair! Its like living proof that ET's are among us. Because they must have cut it. Seriously it looks like this:
I was going to ask why me food looked so damn interesting but was afraid i'd burst out laughing.
Hah! take that!
Zombie Jared 1
Alien head 0
And I found my rabbit bag under a table in one far-away corner. For the purpose of this blog I'll assume Alien head hid it and put it there.
posted by Jared Wong at 6:24 AM, | 
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