Livin Da Life - Past Tense

It’s definitely black. My eyes. They’re black. Just one of those things about me I’ve never noticed before. I just assume that they are because I always see them from a distance, like how I assume doughnuts are sweet and people stare.

Oh look. I can see the iris. It’s a glossier black.
I turn of my yellow hat covered lamp.

And walk back to my table. Wait, how unflattering. My workstation. There, better. Why oh why does it still look the same? I must have done about a thousand different things to appease my lust for some god dammed thing to do, but it still looks about as inviting as my bed. Which is not really. It’s been what, 2 weeks since I lost it.

No use moping around, I told myself in the first.
Do something, I told myself in the third, after waking up from the progressively messier bed. Not bed. Reality-escape device. Where I wake up wishing dreams were real, even though they feel more real than this.

I’ve done it all.
Read every single word in my room. Every one. I found this old book “How To Be a Happy Teen” which oddly enough doesn’t cover extreme boredom and finished it, just like that.
I’ve planned it all.
Pick up the guitar again. Swim daily. Work. Buy that new friggin life. Relax. Cook. Ahh.., the glorious 3 months.
I’ve planned more.
The new Frisbee training sessions. The arrangement of my new room. Food. Cook. Friends. Going jogging, now.
And then some.
Being an anarchist in each Hall, one a day, and then leaving them to wonder with awe who did it.

But they’re just plans. Illogical thoughts going off like fireworks in my head, even more so these 3 weeks. My room looks the same. The work station is jeering at me, I can feel it. My life in these 3 weeks have settled into a predictable routine, one set by the upper echelons of The Australian National University. People around me live to study, sleep, eat, and study some more. “It’s time to go through what you’ve learned again, You better start soon!” That’s what Dr. Anne Aimola Davies said 5 weeks ago.

3 weeks is more than enough. Beyond that its Abdul Gharib.
Already that wall socket looks so inviting.

----------------------------------------------

I walk to the computer lab. No change there. Wait, whats this? I spot two computers where someone forgot to log off. Two! My lucky night.

My greed vs. moral values come up. I bring up my files to print. Greed wins. Oh no! Printer’s out of paper. “Cut down more trees!” I mutter.
I re-justify myself. I would never have printed anyway. I retain my integrity. Morality triumphs again. And laughs over my shoulder.

I know that when I go back to my room, nothing will change. The reality escape device would still be in a mess, my workstation cluttered.
Its like my eyes. Every time I look I expect, no, hope to see a bit more brown. Or some other color. Anything besides the usual numbing situation.

Nope. Still black. I like it that way.

Foreword: you know how in essays and stuff we have to put citations in? From now on my blog will incorporate citations about people whenever possible. Just click on their name, and you'll see their profile! Ingenious eh?

23.10.08, 6.49 am.  I FINISHED my responsibility to the world, now i'm going to run away and join the traveling circus. Ok i'm npt, but this sense of freedom is comparable, seeing as i just finished my FINAL assignment of the year! and not only that, this stupid Social Psycho assignment is like the boss of all asses. I was 1000 words into it and i STILL didn't know what i was supposed to do! but that's done. After haven't slept for 2 days. life is good.

So how does a person celebrate? seeing as my exam is just NEXT MONTH, that i planned a personal break that lasts for 2 days, up to friday. so this is what i did. In the pictures you can see the effect of finishing the bloogy assignments: no more bags under eyes! its like they miraculously disappeared =)

6.49 am. Resumed playing Chrono Cross. a very much appreciated thank you to Natalie who gave me the emulator =)) its a bit outdated, but like most RPG's by Square Soft, the story is excellent 

8.00am. Went down for breakfast

8.30am. Resumed playing Chrono Cross

1.00 pm. Went down for lunch

2.00pm. Resumed playing Chrono Cross

3.00 pm. Went for Organisational Behavior tutorial. boring as usual

 4.15 pm. Resumed playing Chrono Cross. Daryl came over and we started playing Dawn of War: Soulstorm. The replayability value on this is superb. 9 races to play wohoo!

6.00 pm. Resumed playing Chrono Cross.

6.15 pm. Showered, changed, dressed up, for now its time for VALETE! yes! THE dinner of the year that can get EVERYONE to go out clubbing (except Jason, who should read my previous blog on LIVING), dancing, drinking later, Its like a gala AGM/award dinner/party.

What party is complete without babes?

Appetizer: some sprouts rolled in salmon. Rating? err..iori's nicer (of course!) Lol everythin with raw salmon in it gets compared to Iori's for me.

Zhong should use this pic as his FB profile la!

Me with the future IR, and the next 2 sub deans. Congrats to Ada, Natalie, and Mos!

Dinner was served alternatively, but we're so used to it and just swap for wahtever we want lol.

Lamb chops + Chicken = Lamb chippen! Note the pear stuffed in the chicken. Delicious!

   The darling Indian couple, Dhanit and Dianne!

   ....just kidding....

....Dianne pls don't kill me...

Me and Zhong trying to do the Joker smile... failing miserably..

  Chia Yuen accepting her Valete gift which was surprise surprise, a PEN! I don't think Ursies can get any cheaper than that! at least it had "Ursula Hall" engraved on it. oh wait. its printed. I stand corrected

Dessert is err.. err...suger frosted biscuit sandwich with berries and mousse?

Korean and Japanese! woohoo!

9.00 pm. Dinner ended. Preparations were made to go out. Plan? Play bridge till 10.45, then off we go!

9.30 pm. Played big two in Daryl's room, after a plan to scare the girls failed. Sorry Dianne, I PROMISE to play bridge. Anyway, we planned to play it AFTER the clubbing.

10.45 pm. we're off to Moose for a night of debauchery and depravity! just kidding.

I only managed to get one clear picture with my hp. As a rule, i NEVER bring my camera there, except on special occasions. I don't trust myself when high.

But it was great fun. Jason missed out cos he WANTED TO SLEEP. Omgoodness. so killjoy. At least Dhanit went for all 5 MINUTES. before chickening out and going back.

Apparantly on the same night there was Octoberfest going on at Unibar. Unfortunately i found out about it the next day. Damn!

24.10.08 2.15 am. Finished clubbing. Off for pizza and chicken gourmet! Note that by this point i haven't slept in the past 54 hours and 15 minutes.

3.am. reached back Ursies. Originally planned to play bridge. and Chrono Cross, till the next day. But we were too bushed and fell asleep almost immediately. Thats the sign of a successful clubbing =)

10.30 am. Woke up, cancelled a Iori's booking for Barney, who unfortunately couldn't make it.

11.00 am. Confirmed to meet at Iori's at 1 pm with the otters. Resumed playing Chrono Cross.

12.30 pm. Reconfigured the songs in my trusty Bean. Then off to Iori's!

1.00 pm. Iori's was great. Great. Great! its so nice planning nice events for everyone, even more so when everyone enjoys it =) Thanks for coming along guys!

Lol i again found a new way to eat food! Octopus tongue!

How come ppl say don't play with your food? someone pls enlighten me.

2.30 pm. Bought ice cream on the way back.

3.00 pm. Reached back Ursies. Slept/played games/ browsed internet till dinner. I also had to go get washing powder from Jason as i had run out. Turns out he had like, half a 5 kg bag left! So he was more than happy to give away some. Free is good!

6.00 pm. Dinner. Which was a disappointing schnitzel. It's sad to think that if i wasn't so lazy, i could be eating at Mamak Corner. Only i had to catch the 6.19 bus in City. Sorry Xiu Qi! Maybe next time..

6.30 pm. Left dinner in a hurry after some idiot at our table started singing "She'll be coming round the mountain" horribly. Fell asleep.

11.45 pm. Woke up. Felt bad cos i missed Daryl in action at talent show, but strangely enough had a dream about him singing about "ice cream and a 2000 word limit". And he won first place (which also happened in my dream)

25.10.09 1.00 am. Blog time! long time no update =) Also had to do laundry. Its so nice to do it when you don't have to wait for other people

2.45 am. Went to Daryl's room to eat instant noodles (Thats TWO packets you owe me!) and watch The Happening. Daryl seemed to like it alot. But i think it was just for thrills. No story one.

4.30 am. Started watching Wanted. John was awake! and gave us some tea =) thanks!

6.00 am. Stopped watching wanted cos the sun was rising and Daryl wanted to sleep.

6.20 am (Now). back to blogging

And thats the best way to celebrate. Ever. =) I of course plan to play Chrono Cross again later after some sleep (And breakfast!) But who can say what the future is? =)

I was eating dinner, sitting opposite Nick (a result of Ursies limited seating options), and as all guys who knew each other long enough, our conversation turned to Counter-Strike.

Nick: so, i heard Davidson is really good at playing cs

Me: yea! if he sees you he just needs 1 shot to kill you (as in real life!)

Nick: Really? you know i played CS when i was young.

And then the frame froze, and my internal monologue took over. When he was young? that was just like, when he was 15 maybe? I played CS when i was 15 too! Come to think of it...do i use the phrase "when i was young"? Did time really fly that fast? Am i considered "old" or "not young" anymore? I'm just 21!

How fast do we grow up...Since those carefree (PTS, UPSR, PMR, SPM) days? Oh i forgot, PTS doesn't exist anymore, another reminder of how impermanent even the most shocking of things may seem.

I remember "when i was young" the life changing decision that made me me in Standard 4. And i think... i've finally reached another point. Yes, Jared, you're young, but not in that sense anymore.

You've worked, experienced life, university, and done things a 15 year old could only dream of.

So does that mean i can graduate to use that phrase "when I was young" for stuff in my high school days?

Umm..the answer is...

yes.

I'll now throw it away, that mantle i've had since Standard 4. The personality stays, but its running with a different engine now.

Its finally time..to grow up.

Me: Hmm i used to play CS when i was young too!

Nick: Yea, its amazing how CS is still around lol. so many years.

Will our kids be playing CS? =) It'll be...heartwarming to see the next generation play our games, experience our joys, relive our days.

The world will be theirs. But for now, it's still ours =)

Live life for all it has. We've grown, but we'll still grow. One day we'll look back and say, "Yeah, i went to university when i was young"

15.10.08

Today I finally feel like i'm me again. this past week i've been so stressed and it shows.

The stupid MGMT2007 MID SEMESTER exam is over. And i've been stressing over it for days, added to that stress is the criminal psych essay and social psych essay.

And its over.  To you youngsters who think of taking it next year, DONT. first, the lecturer is SLOW. Not slow as in behind schedule, hes actually, physically, slow. his speech can put a tin of red bull to sleep, i'm serious.

But to be optimistic, my essay is like, 70% finished! looks like i'm on schedule. The holidays came and went. Just like that. It was a break that we oh so badly needed =)

Exams in a month! i still can't help feel bitter that my stupid exam dates are the LAST 3 DAYS of the exam. And then got storage. and packing. and going HOME. so many things to do. All done a step at a time. praise God for His graciousness.

I love Wall-E. I love Wall-E. I love Wall-E. I love Wall-E. I love Wall-E. I love Wall-E. I love Wall-E. I love Wall-E. I love Wall-E. I love Wall-E. I love Wall-E. I love Wall-E. I love Wall-E. I love Wall-E. I love Wall-E. Maybe more than Dark Knight. That much. 

And then hor, fluff is falling. It gets everywhere, my mouth, all over, when i cycle or walk. But i realize one thing. This year students who actually start studying when the fluff falls are lucky first year undergraduates. Ppl like me still have assignments, essays, quizes and whatnot to finish BEFORE i can start studying. Again, Malaysian stupidity in ANU system.

kk, hope this is a sufficient update for the time being, i have to get back to my essay.

=)