Thursday, January 24, 2008
There is no good side or bad side to life. It IS life
What is it with the utterly dismal post of a 50th blog. I had a very different structure and post and content in mind.
Instead all i get is "I'm sorry i'm too busy to post?". Wow. My blog is 50 posts old! Now i know some of you may scoff at the thought. "50 is nothing! I could get there in 100 days (or 3 months!)" yes, point taken. but from my point of view the last 50 posts have recorded all the memorable activities, stuff, thoughts, junk and memories (duh) that i've been through the last year or so. Its ironic that people tend to focus more on what is reported by blogs, rather than what really happened, or how i really felt. Already i've forgotten the things unblogged, unposted, and unwritten. yes, there are some noticeable incidents will forever be a dent in my mind, kept alive only me and the pictures i took (thank God for my camera!). And the feelings untapped by my blog will always be there. Always and forever.
I used to say that alot. And I still say it. But i do know that some things change, not often for the best. And some things get better. One of the pillars of this blog was that i would remain true to myself, not be swayed by political rights or wrongs. and i have tried to maintain that, to an extent. but where is the line between me and others? My previous blog language says that "Anything also can one!!! how come like that??", which is correct. Thats how i express myself. But is that how i feel? Where is the border between easy-to-read blog entries, and what i really feel? sooner or later i fall victim to the bloggers trap; the need for people to READ the blog. I often forget that i'm blogging for one person, and one person only.
Watching other friends blogs, well, is also akin to watching their profiles. People blog/advertise themselves in ways that are acceptable to society, often blogging about the "good side of life", never showing bad emotions, like lust, anger, hate. I've never seen any entries that starts with "Omigosh today Linda dressed soooo hot! damn i wish i could..." because the person blogging knows Linda reads the blog. And the list goes on.
What happened to raw, unadulterated, uninfluenced thoughts? Memories recorded in blogs take on the characteristic of the blog, not of the actual memory. Believe me, i've experienced it. I have a 10-year-old diary that is full of emotional bullshit. I stopped using it because it makes me feel emotional, even if i can look back and say that "oh, i can rationalise the situaiton now". Thats why i didn't post much about the incident where my dad got slashed. Because i don't want to pollute the event.
In the next 50 posts, i'll try to go back to that unfiltered train of thought. Of course it wont be easy. Being a social person i have to have filters to make sure people don't get hurt, to make sure I dont get hurt. And then there will be events where i can only report on the pitures posted, and not on the actual feeling of the moment.
But I'll try.
Oh and i better post a picture. This is York. I think i've introduced him a few posts back. But he looks so very cute! His full name is Duke of York (British heritage), but my sister calls him Mr. York. And yes, he belongs to me. He works as a mascot and sales rep for my sister's cheesecake business. but i rather like him because of his silly grin.
Well, its a start.
Instead all i get is "I'm sorry i'm too busy to post?". Wow. My blog is 50 posts old! Now i know some of you may scoff at the thought. "50 is nothing! I could get there in 100 days (or 3 months!)" yes, point taken. but from my point of view the last 50 posts have recorded all the memorable activities, stuff, thoughts, junk and memories (duh) that i've been through the last year or so. Its ironic that people tend to focus more on what is reported by blogs, rather than what really happened, or how i really felt. Already i've forgotten the things unblogged, unposted, and unwritten. yes, there are some noticeable incidents will forever be a dent in my mind, kept alive only me and the pictures i took (thank God for my camera!). And the feelings untapped by my blog will always be there. Always and forever.
I used to say that alot. And I still say it. But i do know that some things change, not often for the best. And some things get better. One of the pillars of this blog was that i would remain true to myself, not be swayed by political rights or wrongs. and i have tried to maintain that, to an extent. but where is the line between me and others? My previous blog language says that "Anything also can one!!! how come like that??", which is correct. Thats how i express myself. But is that how i feel? Where is the border between easy-to-read blog entries, and what i really feel? sooner or later i fall victim to the bloggers trap; the need for people to READ the blog. I often forget that i'm blogging for one person, and one person only.
Watching other friends blogs, well, is also akin to watching their profiles. People blog/advertise themselves in ways that are acceptable to society, often blogging about the "good side of life", never showing bad emotions, like lust, anger, hate. I've never seen any entries that starts with "Omigosh today Linda dressed soooo hot! damn i wish i could..." because the person blogging knows Linda reads the blog. And the list goes on.
What happened to raw, unadulterated, uninfluenced thoughts? Memories recorded in blogs take on the characteristic of the blog, not of the actual memory. Believe me, i've experienced it. I have a 10-year-old diary that is full of emotional bullshit. I stopped using it because it makes me feel emotional, even if i can look back and say that "oh, i can rationalise the situaiton now". Thats why i didn't post much about the incident where my dad got slashed. Because i don't want to pollute the event.
In the next 50 posts, i'll try to go back to that unfiltered train of thought. Of course it wont be easy. Being a social person i have to have filters to make sure people don't get hurt, to make sure I dont get hurt. And then there will be events where i can only report on the pitures posted, and not on the actual feeling of the moment.
But I'll try.
Oh and i better post a picture. This is York. I think i've introduced him a few posts back. But he looks so very cute! His full name is Duke of York (British heritage), but my sister calls him Mr. York. And yes, he belongs to me. He works as a mascot and sales rep for my sister's cheesecake business. but i rather like him because of his silly grin.
Well, its a start.
posted by Jared Wong at 1:32 AM, | 
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